So many changes in my life keep happening

I believe music is very powerful in many ways. It can heal, make us remember, make us forget, change our perspective of time, bring us joy, and move us to tears. I have found all of these to be true as musician.

In the Summer of 2008 I was at a very low time in my life, I was depressed, I was not myself, I was seeing a counselor, I was learning how to adjust to things I didn't even realize I needed to adjust too. I wasn't singing anymore which is a true passion of mine and brings me immense joy. I found a chorus called Gem City, it was group of women who shared my same passion, it was a style of music that is so often forgotten that I grew to love in High School thanks to my inspirational director that spoiled me on quality chorus' and what good singing in a choir truly was. Through Gem City and the power of music, I got a little of myself back, even when I didn't feel like going because I was depressed I stuck it out and once I was there I was smiling. Jean Barford is truly one of the greatest directors I have ever worked with and probably ever will work with. She is the Ninja of Barbershop Harmony. I love Barbershop, I love Gem City and I love Jean Barford.

She has decided that it is time after 40 years to retire. I respect her decision but it makes me so very sad and I feel a little cheated that I only had the privilege of working with her for not even 2 years. I am at a low part in my life again although I have more support now than I did back when I joined I am so sad and beside myself that what helped me find me again may be no longer when I feel I need it most. I am so thankful I was able to go to Nashville with the chorus because if I hadn't I would have never been able to go to an international with the Gem City Chorus under the direction of Jean Barford. Some reading this don't understand how big of a deal this is but we were a family and so are the Sweet Adelines and they have been a big part of my life these last 2 years.

That is all.

19 Days and Counting

I leave for Mexico in 19 days and I couldn't be more excited about it. I get to eat real Mexican food, hang with some cool kids, feed the hungry, stand beside the broken. I must go!

Pray for our team!

In other news I didn't get that job I wanted and Trevor will hopefully hear some good news about his current career endeavors this week.

Shredded Pork Tacos

I got this magazine of recipes that is all Mexican, some of its close to the real stuff (which I will get when I go in February) Soooo...here is the first thing we are trying.

Shredded Pork Tacos

2 lb pork loin blade roast
2 large onions quartered
8 cloves of garlic minced
3 fresh jalapeños cut up
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons dried oregano

trim fat from meat...throw all ingredients in a crock pot with one cup of water and cook on low for 8-10 hours and high for 4-5 hours. Put in tortillas with taco fixin's of your choice.

Continued from last night...

Just some thoughts.

Trevor and I are getting discouraged. I shared with some individuals last night about our situation, both being unemployed when asked to share somethings that have affected my relationship with God and my faith whether it was good or bad. Something funny about me is that I will write anything on this blog but when asked to share with people in public I lose everything I wanted to say and say something abbreviated that doesn't even encompass all my feelings, good or bad. So here is the rest even though no one will read it. When Trevor first lost his job the thing that resonated with me was a message our pastor did I couldn't remember how long ago prior but summed up it was about ups and downs and for everything you could asked the question "how do you know its good?" or in our case "how do you know its bad" I have been trying with all my might to look at it that way. It's hard for someone like me that is a planner, I plan for things so this situation has caused me to sit for long hours in a daze trying to think of how I, ME, my human and sinful self can fix it or second guessing decisions Trevor and I made to "make our future better." I guess I inherited this from my dad because he does the same thing.
So anyway last spring I was praying that Trevor would finally get the raise he was entitled to, praying for all kinds of things so we could move forward so we could buy a house, start a family etc. We started the process with buying a house, we were under contract and the closing was scheduled for the end of April. It then got moved to July 31 due to title issues. We both were excited about the house, wanted the house but both felt like something was wrong, we both had a weird feeling that it just might not be what we were supposed to do yet or just "not this house." We both didn't find out the other felt that way until after the fact. We started praying and saying "if we are unable to get the house by July 31 then its not meant to be." The beginning of July Trevor was laid off and his last day was scheduled for July 31. I was still employed and if the closing was that day Trevor was technically "still employed" so we could have still gotten it but then the realtor said we were going to have to wait until Oct. to close because the title was still being worked out. So we were out of our contract if we wanted to be and it was pretty clear that this wasn't supposed to happen. 2 Months after that I was laid off. I would think to myself. "God, what are you doing, this wasn't part of the plan, this is not what I prayed for."
So the good things about this whole thing. Trevor and I have gotten much needed rest, we have been able to spend more time with Trevor's family. We have been able to reflect on what we really want, what we want to do and what God might have planned for us. We aren't tied down to anything. We have thought "are we supposed to move somewhere else, wait for jobs here" There are things we have considered that are still up in the air that I've hinted at here and there but until it is final, which it may never be, it is not worth mentioning. Some know what I am talking about and others don't. What's funny is, even though I am a little stressed for obvious reasons, its also the first time in a while I feel peace. It's hard to explain. Probably its the first time in my life I have felt control over nothing so I can't even try to control it. It's a lot of work trying to control your own life. I have been left with no other option but to give it to God which is something I have struggled with my entire life...ask my family, ask Trevor. So as far as financially, you would think we would be out of money, you would think we would be destitute but we are not. While I didn't plan this God did. Trevor and I were saving up money for a house, Trevor and I were paying double payments on his student loans. Trevor and I don't have debt other than that because we refused to get credit cards and live paycheck to paycheck, so we had a surplus in our checking account for emergency purposes. We both were fortunate enough to get unemployment and that covers pretty much all the necessities like bills and groceries give or take. Trevor has been blessed with some side work that has given us a little extra. So all things considered we are doing quite well. We have not touched our savings account, Trevor's loan is paid 2 1/2 years ahead, we went down to 2 cars and were able to help out a friend and give him a car. As far as income vs expenses sometimes after a month we will have less, sometimes we break even and sometimes we have more....I know this doesn't make sense but I know the explanation is God is faithful and he always provides. Seriously, I don't understand how we are doing this well if I were trying to base it on logic. Now if we were unemployed for the rest of our lives we would eventually go broke but that isn't going to happen so after this trial is over in the grand scheme of things I think it will only be a small set back. God has taught us a lot through this and yet we are still trying to figure out what we are supposed to do with this opportunity that we have been given.

Life Goes On

So I have an interview on Wednesday at Greene County Department of Developmental Disabilities. It wood be a good job, the my hopes are not getting up, I have wasted lots of time in my life getting my hopes up about things like this.

This week I have spent converting cassette tapes to my computer. Free download online. Audacity software, quite easy to use.

I'm ready to go to Mexico in February, warmth, great people, helping those in need.

Oh and I have lost my holiday weight and continuing to drop the lbs. Thanks Suzanne Somers!

What will 2010 bring?

So 2009 brought job loss for both Trevor and I when we were hoping to finally have that "settled" feeling in a house and in our jobs. Trevor has lots of good options on the job front based on what he has applied for but he still hasn't heard anything and hasn't had an interview in a while and that leaves us less than encouraged.

I'm hoping 2010 brings a new adventure for Trevor and I. We are definitely ready. Lot's of things going on though in the first half of the year.

My Birthday in 2 days.
Music Showcase at CU where I will see some of Trevor's family hopefully and a good friend from college and hopefully go to Champps Karaoke just like old times :)
Mission Trip to Mexico :)
And my sister-in-law's wedding in June :)

Holiday Recap

Dec. 23 - Rented Car, drove to NEPA (in daylight for a change - unemployment is good for something i guess)

Dec. 24 - Visited grandma in nursing home, did last minute Christmas shopping due to mishap on the way up. Went to Bridgwater Christmas eve service. Looked at Christmas lights around Montrose.

Dec. 25 - Opened gifts, had yummy homemade cinnamon rolls. Dog had a seizure after biting Trevor. Visited grandma again, chilled out, had yummy Christmas dinner.

Dec. 26 - Went shopping for boots, bought awesome snow boots that will keep my poor dear toes warm in -25 degree weather. Rehearsal for Special music at Springville Baptist, and there were some angels that exploded.

Dec. 27 - Went to church, sang special music (no angels exploded). Visited Brian and Katie :) then went to Megan and Joshs and played an intense game of Catch Phrase with Kristen, Matt, Megan, Josh, Frank and Mary (girls rule).

Dec. 28 - Visited Phil and Natasha, built a castle with Isabel, went to Twigs for lunch with Erin :) then visited Grandma Small. Then Grandma Hinds got another visit where we met up with Uncle Dale, Aunt Nita and I met cousin Andy for the first time. Then dinner with them and fam at "The Inn at Montrose" formerly "Montrose House" where my greek salad had enough chicken on it for 3 salads and enough salad for 1/2 a salad.

Dec. 29 Played with the dogs Nicky and Mystic, watched TV while Trevor cleaned out the coal bin under the house. Ate dinner, went to go see "It's Complicated" with Carol.

Dec. 30 Drove long way home so we could go to Cabela's (that place is giant), drove rest of the way home.