Breaking Free

This is the last week of this bible study with some wonderful ladies from our church. It has been a special journey. It's about breaking free from bondage in our lives so we can live free, full lives in Christ. It has opened my eyes to the things holding my back from an abundant life in Christ. It also made me realize others in my life that sadly are still in bondage and have not yet broken free. Sad because they don't realize it. So I say grab some good friends and do this study. It's really good and Beth is super funny as always.

Life is good right now I guess. I am going to Mexico again this winter. It will be good going again in a completely different spiritual place than I did last year. Manda is coming too. :)

I am loving the fall weather!

Trevor and I enjoy fall. I don't know if I would say it is my favorite season because I think I am kinda partial to summer but it is a close second. Trevor proposed to me in October of '04 :). We haven't been able to get to our favorite festivals this year due to conflicts. We missed the Potato festival and Xenia Old Fashioned Days was canceled. We did make it to the street fair and I bought a cute hat.

I do so love these things about fall, the colors especially in the mountains of NEPA, the pumpkins (the decor and the food items) and Halloween Haunt at Kings Island. They fill the park with fog machines and people walking around appear to just come out of the fog, it is creepy. And the park is open until 1:00am which makes for a fun and exhilarating ride on "The Beast" the longest wooden roller coaster in the world. It goes through the woods and through underground tunnels so its pitch black.

I am currently reading a series of books by Steig Larsson. He wrote a trilogy and its the only thing he wrote, he died after turning in the manuscripts. Since he turned them in they have been translated to English from Swedish. They are interesting. I always enjoy learning about other cultures from foreign films and now I doing the same thing through these books. The first one is "The girl with the dragon tattoo" and I am on the second one called "The girl who played with fire" they are nail biters for sure.

A Book Recommendation

Same Kind of Different as me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It is a true story told by the 2 men who's story it is. It's hard to get started because of the dialect of Denver but once you get going and him and Ron's stories cross it's not as back and forth. This has become one of my favorite books. It makes me think, really puts things (tons of things) in perspective. It opened my eyes to things I never imagined. Everyone should read it. And its going to come out on the big screen this year by the same people that did Pursuit of Happyness. And since the direct dealings were with the writers whose story it is, I would imagine it would be pretty true to the book. So if you want a fast read that will make you laugh, make you cry and give you some perspective read this. So far everyone who took my word for it has liked it:)

Easy No Sew Bag

Took like 2 minutes after i went and bought a yard and 1/2 of a cute fabric at wally mountain. I saw one of my high school friends on facebook made one with a link here. I couldn't find a flower i liked but the fabric is cute without. By far easiest thing I have ever made.

Fair Time

So last week Trevor and I were able to go up and spend 4 days with Trevor's family. This was a blessing and a nice treat seeing as how we normally drive up there for one day and have to rush home. It was fair week, which means we went to the fair everyday we were there...because that's just what you do. And when your father in law conveniently has a tent where he sells lawn mowers you always have a shady place to sit and hang out. So I ate lots of junk...but nothing a few days somersizing level one won't fix.

I posted about my first experience at the fair on my blog 4 years ago here as you can see I have called it redneck week. Out of respect for my brother-in-law it will now be referred to as Country Week. We didn't get to go to the truck pull much to Trevor's dismay but we saw lots of friends and spent much needed time with the family. We had a speidie sandwich (something that only NEPA and southern tier of NY ppl know anything about). We have a cupboard full of speidie sauce in our house, we normally make speidies and share them with our less fortunate friends.

Oh and we helped Trevor's farmer friends bring in their hay. So I have now connected a full hay wagon to a tractor and climbed on the pile in the hay wagon and threw hay bails down to Trevor to put on an elevator where it when to the upper level of a barn where a group of other people stacked it. I think I missed my calling...I should have been a farmer.

This is going to be random.

So taco bells new cantina tacos...as legit Mexican as Taco Bell will ever be. Here is what it has that is authentically Mexican
Lightly seasoned beef, fresh cilantro, chopped onion, bland corn tortilla and a served with a lime wedge. To add to the authenticity there is no lettuce, cheese or sour cream (things that are not on a Mexican taco south of the border). However it is still taco bell so it is not real Mexican but it does remind my taste buds.

Random story: So Trevor and I are at the Goodwill Outlet. Yes goodwill has an outlet and yes it is cheaper than the regular Goodwill stores. But....everything except clothes and furniture is dumped in bins (like the kind you put recyclables out by the road in). There is no rhyme or reason to any of it. In one bin might be a naked barbie, some puzzle pieces and cards from a board game, a tupperware lid, a child's school notes complete with binder etc. And the bin stuff is sold by weight. So Trevor and I are rooting through them looking for treasures along with many local hobos and bag ladies. I find a bunch of DVD's not in cases but rubber banded together. I got excited and picked it up to see if there were any goodies and much to my shock, horror and dismay it was pornos and there were life scaring photos on the fronts of them. I quickly threw them back in the bin and then wanted to go vomit. Who donates porn to goodwill? Seriously....

Trevor might be able to switch to first shift soon but he is still thinking of a career change....still haven't heard but we are so close

As far as me, I am still unemployed, to tell you the truth it has been the best time of growth and reflection for me and in turn one of the best moments of my life. I did find something I would like to pursue career wise but training costs $15000 dollars. Hmmmm....

Lastly I my sister and I have had our first gardening experience this summer. It's actually her mother in laws garden but we did a lot of the planting and weeding. We are all inexperienced and may of lost our cucumbers to some sort of disease that spreads after it is attacked by some beetle or something. They were yummy cucs too. Sad...

I really dont like not blogging

I've haven't had much to say, I have been waiting for big news that we haven't gotten yet. It might not happen but if it does it will be exciting.

It has been a good summer so far, I have been taking advantage of not working this summer and soaking up some sun by the pool. Trevor is a trooper on 3rd shift....and he likes that I am able to relax. I get so overwhelmed with life sometimes, and I daydream/worry to much.

I have been thinking lately how I really want to go back to Mexico and I hope next year there is another opportunity, because Trevor said he would go if there was and I would love to share that with him.

I have a vacation coming up in Sept that I am so excited about. I might get to extra again on OTH. We didn't get to vacation last year because Trevor and I lost our jobs and it was a real bummer. Wrightsville Beach is the best beach in America.

I just ate an omlette with cheese peppers and onions in it. It was yummy.
Now I shall go for a run.

Oh gosh its been a while. I have been so busy lately. Trevor and I have been praying about our future for a while now. While Trevor did get a job we were praying about this other option months before and it has still been a possibility and we have continued to pray. God has clearly showed us that we need to keep pursuing because of the outcomes of various steps to get there. We might get a final YES within the next few weeks and then its on with a great adventure. It will be revealed at that time.

Carillons and Circus Clowns

So this Thursday I went to Carillon Historical Park in Dayton with the grandparents. I had been there before when I was in 5th grade for a field trip. But all I remember is the wright brother's bike shop and some other historical buildings. I have lived in Dayton all my life and thought that "Carillon" was someone's name. Did anyone else know that this is not so and that a carillon is a musical instruments containing at least 23 cast bronze cup-shaped bells. The deeds carillon in Carillon park has 50 bells. It is played just like a pipe organ by a carillonneur. He plays it in a little room in the bell tower. They are really popular in Belgium and the Netherlands and France. Mrs. Deeds was visiting Europe and was enamored by the beauty of this musical instrument she wanted to bring it to Dayton. So the Deeds family had the Carillon built in Dayton in 1942. How did I not know this. Did anyone else know this or am I the only one. I always knew the bell tower was there but I thought that it just chimed like a clock tower...which it does but that is not all apparently.

Moving on the Antioch Shrine Circus is in town and my grandpa is a Shriner so I get special coupons and get to go in a special entrance for the "Nobles" It makes me feel like a kid again once a year. I have gone since I was just a wee thing. It's always a good time.

A Bridal Shower for my Cousin

This Weekend my mother and sister and I threw a bridal shower for my cousin. She requested an "outdoor theme" because she likes to camp and enjoy the great outdoors with her soon to be husband. So here are some photos of the wonderful spread we had. First is the glorious cake I made to resemble a log. White cake rolled up with chocolate frosting and decorated to look like wood with the tines a fork. Thanks to my wonderful mother in law for the recipe for a "jelly roll cake" and the tips...this was my third cake the other 2 fell flat...literally. Amanda made the flower cookies to garnish my masterpiece.




That brings us then to the stuffed mushrooms, two kinds to be exact that simply melted in the guests mouths. One of my favorite appetizers my mom, sister and I make. We enjoy them frequently and enjoy the aromas that fill the house when preparing them. Notice the delicate scattering of smooth stones, fern and baby's breath to add simple elegance and girlish beauty to a theme that may be considered masculine by some.

Another shot at the glorious mushrooms and a simple pinwheel that I made that day. It is simply two 8oz packages of cream cheese, one packet taco seasoning and one small can of green chiles. Spread on tortillas...roll up and slice....yummmm. On the top tier of our perfectly fashioned stumps (my idea for our outdoor themed shower brought to life by my mother's boss who had the tools to perfectly slice and sand these beautiful creations) is the favor which we will get to in a moment. Peeking out the bottom of this photo below is our sliders....nothing says outdoors and camping like hamburgers but to fancy up this pastime we added a special sauce topped with cheese and pickle.



Next we have the favor a mini s'more kit to make at home to remember this fun day.



Other menu items included a delicious cheese tray, a veggie tray, the ever popular buffalo chicken dip and little smokies. Refreshing beverages included a Pink Lassie (a delicious punch including orange juice, cranberry juice and vanilla ice cream) and my homemade sugar free (sweetened with Truvia) raspberry ice tea and a vanilla nut coffee...there wasn't much left overs from this day. My cousin went home with an awesome assortment of gifts. It was considered a success and it was super fun to plan this party and come up with creative ideas to express the theme. What party should we plan next.

It's the start of something new, feels so right to be here with you....

So Trevor got a job hey hey hey hey!!! Hopefully he will like it and it will be a good match. If he stays there for a long time ie till we have kids that are college age they could go to wright state for free.

I can't tell you how excited I am to save the money we spend on COBRA each month.

Some thoughts

A month has went by since Mexico and it is still vivid in my mind at times. Sometimes I wish I could do more for others. Sometimes I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. Sometimes I want to get out of here and start fresh somewhere else. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the generosity of others. Sometimes I want to turn some of my poems into songs.

My Week in Mexico

I have not posted anything in a while. I wanted to post something about Mexico but the words weren't really coming to me. Not the ones I really wanted to attempt to express the magnitude of this trip. This trip was amazing and a completly new experience from 7 years ago when I went. God definately had a new purpose for me this time around. If I could sum up the week in a few words besides, "It was amazing" it would be "God is moving in Monterrey"

I was going to do a blurb for each day but I thought that would get a little boring to my readers. Of course it was exciting to me I was there. So I will high light the high points. We worked at 2 children's homes. Casa Hogar del Norte (CHDN) and El Retiro Juvenil (ERJ). I had been to these 2 before and I was so excited to see the counter top in the kitchen at ERJ. I helped build this concrete/tiled one after removing a crummy wood one 7 years ago. To see the completed project in use made me smile. We also took the kids from ERJ ice skating one day. It was so cute, some of the kids had never been and they don't get to do stuff like that very often so it was a fun experience to share with them.

CHDN has younger kids than the other homes on average. It is the only one that takes babies. They are always the ones we want to stuff in our suit cases and bring home with us. I helped build bookshelves for the new library that they are making for the kids.

But the best experience of them all was Cadereyta. Cadereyta was an impoverished neighborhood near Monterrey. I have never been touched so much by a place and by the people in it than while I was there one evening and then the next day to work. We went to a church there, just a plain concrete building, no paint, just a few small banners with scripture and some wooden benches to sit on. No distractions, no video games for the teens to play before the service, no cafe tables to congregate at. It was a night just for worship. I spent the first bit of time just observing, I didn't know any of the songs since they were in Spanish. What I observed were people passionate about the God that they serve, if they weren't walking with God they were passionate about seeking Him and passionate about praising Him in that moment. The Holy Spirit filled that place. The genuineness of the worship and the people there just tugged at my heart. Why you ask? Well I will tell you. First of all these people have next to nothing and they were in there on their knees raising their hands and praising God with all that was in them. They could have said that night "what has God done for me, why does he deserve my praise, I bring home $5 a day to a shack and sleep in the dirt" but that night they chose to Worship God and let Him fill them with the Holy Spirit, they stood their broken and wanted nothing more than to be with Jesus. This made me angry, not what they were doing but the comparison of what happens at home in the "American Dream" of a life. We go to our fancy church buildings, we take a shower and put on nice clothes before we go, we worship for 15-20 minutes and stand their with our arms crossed, some don't even sing. We are distracted about what nice restaurant we are going to for dinner after wards or who we might hang out with, we think about work on monday at our cushy jobs, we might be tired from the night or day before and just want to go home and sleep. What the crap people!!?!?!?! The people of Cadereyta put all their troubles aside (legit troubles, like how am I going to feed my kids) and praise God with 100% of all they have within them for hours because literally that is all they have in this world, they go dirty and smelly and yet if someone did that here we would judge them for it. But God loves the dirty and the smelly and loves their genuine heart. He is their only hope and they know that and they rely on Him for everything. After observing I had the opportunity to pray for a girl who lived in this place, I laid my hands on her and prayed for her and it is a moment I will never forget.

Over all I was really convicted, I felt a giant slap on my face every day. I sit at home in my nice apartment and I have a fridge full of food and a furnace in the winter, a shower, a bed to sleep in. And those are more of what we might consider necessities. That's not including, my TV, my computer, my phone etc. the list goes on. And yet I feel slighted because I am getting payed by unemployment (more than $5 a day, mind you) and not by a job. What the blast. None of that freaking matters, our life is only a vapor, stuff can't go with us when we die and God always provides.

So, now that you have ready my story, I would like to ask you to pray for the people of Cadereyta because they need prayer, the kids need prayer. Their only hope is Jesus. Pray that they would rely on Him and continue to rely on Him. Pray that seeds would continue to be planted in their hearts. Pray that God would always provide for them and for the Church that only stands because people have faith. When I go again I pray that church is busting at the seams with the people of Cadereyta giving their lives to Jesus Christ.

Thanks for reading.

Potato and Cheese Stuffed Chilis

This recipe was a fun one to try, it was not diet approved for me but did have some health benefits and was super yummy.It's pretty authentic Mexican. People don't consider potato Mexican because they don't have anything potato typically at Mexican Restaurants. However, Mexican's use it a lot and typically mix it in with the meat that they use for a taco or burrito etc.
So here goes.
3 large Anaheim or Poblano peppers or 6ish small sweet peppers (i used sweet peppers this time because the store I went to didn't have poblanos but I do know I have seen them before at other stores.1 1/2 C chopped sweet potatoes or potatoes (i did half and half and kept them separate because I wanted to try both.
1-3 TBSP of milk
1/3 C finely chopped green onion

2 teaspoons of Chili powder1 clove garlic minced1/2 C shredded asadero, queso quesadilla, Chihuahua or monterey jack cheese (most of these cheeses can't be found at your average store and the "mexican blend" supposedly has a mix of some of these however it is NOTHING like cheese in mexico sorry Kraft but that being said it will taste good in this recipe
1 egg white beaten
salt and pepper to taste

Pre-heat oven to 350. Lightly coat a baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.

Cut peppers in half lengthwise and remove seeds and membranes.In a saucepan cook peppers in boiling water for about 5 minutes or until crisp-tender. Drain well.

In another saucepan cook potatoes for about 15 minutes in boiling lightly salted water. Drain, mash potatoes adding milk 1 table spoon at a time until mixture is fluffy. Stir in green onions, chili powder and garlic. Stir in 1/4 cup of shredded cheese and egg white.Spoon potato into peppers. Place peppers close together in the prepared baking dish. Bake covered for 25-30 minutes or until heated through. Sprinkle tops with remaining cheese. Eat and enjoy....

So many changes in my life keep happening

I believe music is very powerful in many ways. It can heal, make us remember, make us forget, change our perspective of time, bring us joy, and move us to tears. I have found all of these to be true as musician.

In the Summer of 2008 I was at a very low time in my life, I was depressed, I was not myself, I was seeing a counselor, I was learning how to adjust to things I didn't even realize I needed to adjust too. I wasn't singing anymore which is a true passion of mine and brings me immense joy. I found a chorus called Gem City, it was group of women who shared my same passion, it was a style of music that is so often forgotten that I grew to love in High School thanks to my inspirational director that spoiled me on quality chorus' and what good singing in a choir truly was. Through Gem City and the power of music, I got a little of myself back, even when I didn't feel like going because I was depressed I stuck it out and once I was there I was smiling. Jean Barford is truly one of the greatest directors I have ever worked with and probably ever will work with. She is the Ninja of Barbershop Harmony. I love Barbershop, I love Gem City and I love Jean Barford.

She has decided that it is time after 40 years to retire. I respect her decision but it makes me so very sad and I feel a little cheated that I only had the privilege of working with her for not even 2 years. I am at a low part in my life again although I have more support now than I did back when I joined I am so sad and beside myself that what helped me find me again may be no longer when I feel I need it most. I am so thankful I was able to go to Nashville with the chorus because if I hadn't I would have never been able to go to an international with the Gem City Chorus under the direction of Jean Barford. Some reading this don't understand how big of a deal this is but we were a family and so are the Sweet Adelines and they have been a big part of my life these last 2 years.

That is all.

19 Days and Counting

I leave for Mexico in 19 days and I couldn't be more excited about it. I get to eat real Mexican food, hang with some cool kids, feed the hungry, stand beside the broken. I must go!

Pray for our team!

In other news I didn't get that job I wanted and Trevor will hopefully hear some good news about his current career endeavors this week.

Shredded Pork Tacos

I got this magazine of recipes that is all Mexican, some of its close to the real stuff (which I will get when I go in February) Soooo...here is the first thing we are trying.

Shredded Pork Tacos

2 lb pork loin blade roast
2 large onions quartered
8 cloves of garlic minced
3 fresh jalapeños cut up
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons dried oregano

trim fat from meat...throw all ingredients in a crock pot with one cup of water and cook on low for 8-10 hours and high for 4-5 hours. Put in tortillas with taco fixin's of your choice.

Continued from last night...

Just some thoughts.

Trevor and I are getting discouraged. I shared with some individuals last night about our situation, both being unemployed when asked to share somethings that have affected my relationship with God and my faith whether it was good or bad. Something funny about me is that I will write anything on this blog but when asked to share with people in public I lose everything I wanted to say and say something abbreviated that doesn't even encompass all my feelings, good or bad. So here is the rest even though no one will read it. When Trevor first lost his job the thing that resonated with me was a message our pastor did I couldn't remember how long ago prior but summed up it was about ups and downs and for everything you could asked the question "how do you know its good?" or in our case "how do you know its bad" I have been trying with all my might to look at it that way. It's hard for someone like me that is a planner, I plan for things so this situation has caused me to sit for long hours in a daze trying to think of how I, ME, my human and sinful self can fix it or second guessing decisions Trevor and I made to "make our future better." I guess I inherited this from my dad because he does the same thing.
So anyway last spring I was praying that Trevor would finally get the raise he was entitled to, praying for all kinds of things so we could move forward so we could buy a house, start a family etc. We started the process with buying a house, we were under contract and the closing was scheduled for the end of April. It then got moved to July 31 due to title issues. We both were excited about the house, wanted the house but both felt like something was wrong, we both had a weird feeling that it just might not be what we were supposed to do yet or just "not this house." We both didn't find out the other felt that way until after the fact. We started praying and saying "if we are unable to get the house by July 31 then its not meant to be." The beginning of July Trevor was laid off and his last day was scheduled for July 31. I was still employed and if the closing was that day Trevor was technically "still employed" so we could have still gotten it but then the realtor said we were going to have to wait until Oct. to close because the title was still being worked out. So we were out of our contract if we wanted to be and it was pretty clear that this wasn't supposed to happen. 2 Months after that I was laid off. I would think to myself. "God, what are you doing, this wasn't part of the plan, this is not what I prayed for."
So the good things about this whole thing. Trevor and I have gotten much needed rest, we have been able to spend more time with Trevor's family. We have been able to reflect on what we really want, what we want to do and what God might have planned for us. We aren't tied down to anything. We have thought "are we supposed to move somewhere else, wait for jobs here" There are things we have considered that are still up in the air that I've hinted at here and there but until it is final, which it may never be, it is not worth mentioning. Some know what I am talking about and others don't. What's funny is, even though I am a little stressed for obvious reasons, its also the first time in a while I feel peace. It's hard to explain. Probably its the first time in my life I have felt control over nothing so I can't even try to control it. It's a lot of work trying to control your own life. I have been left with no other option but to give it to God which is something I have struggled with my entire life...ask my family, ask Trevor. So as far as financially, you would think we would be out of money, you would think we would be destitute but we are not. While I didn't plan this God did. Trevor and I were saving up money for a house, Trevor and I were paying double payments on his student loans. Trevor and I don't have debt other than that because we refused to get credit cards and live paycheck to paycheck, so we had a surplus in our checking account for emergency purposes. We both were fortunate enough to get unemployment and that covers pretty much all the necessities like bills and groceries give or take. Trevor has been blessed with some side work that has given us a little extra. So all things considered we are doing quite well. We have not touched our savings account, Trevor's loan is paid 2 1/2 years ahead, we went down to 2 cars and were able to help out a friend and give him a car. As far as income vs expenses sometimes after a month we will have less, sometimes we break even and sometimes we have more....I know this doesn't make sense but I know the explanation is God is faithful and he always provides. Seriously, I don't understand how we are doing this well if I were trying to base it on logic. Now if we were unemployed for the rest of our lives we would eventually go broke but that isn't going to happen so after this trial is over in the grand scheme of things I think it will only be a small set back. God has taught us a lot through this and yet we are still trying to figure out what we are supposed to do with this opportunity that we have been given.

Life Goes On

So I have an interview on Wednesday at Greene County Department of Developmental Disabilities. It wood be a good job, the my hopes are not getting up, I have wasted lots of time in my life getting my hopes up about things like this.

This week I have spent converting cassette tapes to my computer. Free download online. Audacity software, quite easy to use.

I'm ready to go to Mexico in February, warmth, great people, helping those in need.

Oh and I have lost my holiday weight and continuing to drop the lbs. Thanks Suzanne Somers!

What will 2010 bring?

So 2009 brought job loss for both Trevor and I when we were hoping to finally have that "settled" feeling in a house and in our jobs. Trevor has lots of good options on the job front based on what he has applied for but he still hasn't heard anything and hasn't had an interview in a while and that leaves us less than encouraged.

I'm hoping 2010 brings a new adventure for Trevor and I. We are definitely ready. Lot's of things going on though in the first half of the year.

My Birthday in 2 days.
Music Showcase at CU where I will see some of Trevor's family hopefully and a good friend from college and hopefully go to Champps Karaoke just like old times :)
Mission Trip to Mexico :)
And my sister-in-law's wedding in June :)

Holiday Recap

Dec. 23 - Rented Car, drove to NEPA (in daylight for a change - unemployment is good for something i guess)

Dec. 24 - Visited grandma in nursing home, did last minute Christmas shopping due to mishap on the way up. Went to Bridgwater Christmas eve service. Looked at Christmas lights around Montrose.

Dec. 25 - Opened gifts, had yummy homemade cinnamon rolls. Dog had a seizure after biting Trevor. Visited grandma again, chilled out, had yummy Christmas dinner.

Dec. 26 - Went shopping for boots, bought awesome snow boots that will keep my poor dear toes warm in -25 degree weather. Rehearsal for Special music at Springville Baptist, and there were some angels that exploded.

Dec. 27 - Went to church, sang special music (no angels exploded). Visited Brian and Katie :) then went to Megan and Joshs and played an intense game of Catch Phrase with Kristen, Matt, Megan, Josh, Frank and Mary (girls rule).

Dec. 28 - Visited Phil and Natasha, built a castle with Isabel, went to Twigs for lunch with Erin :) then visited Grandma Small. Then Grandma Hinds got another visit where we met up with Uncle Dale, Aunt Nita and I met cousin Andy for the first time. Then dinner with them and fam at "The Inn at Montrose" formerly "Montrose House" where my greek salad had enough chicken on it for 3 salads and enough salad for 1/2 a salad.

Dec. 29 Played with the dogs Nicky and Mystic, watched TV while Trevor cleaned out the coal bin under the house. Ate dinner, went to go see "It's Complicated" with Carol.

Dec. 30 Drove long way home so we could go to Cabela's (that place is giant), drove rest of the way home.